Kink Safety Guide

Whether you’re new to kink, or starting again with someone new, it’s always a good idea to refresh the basics. Here’s a guide to keep your tools clean, so your talk can be dirty. And your practice safe, so you can play hard. If you have any further questions or queries (ie choosing your tools of punishment), feel free to contact us in-store.

This is only a general guide. Its purpose is to demonstrate the level of caution and consideration that should be exercised when engaging in heavier forms of play. This guide should not be referred to as a go-to resource. There are many forms of play that fall under the kink/BDSM umbrella and it is best to locate a resource that is able to provide in-depth information regarding best practice in that particular area of play.

Consent

All sexual activity must only take place on the grounds that 100% consent has been given by all parties involved.  Consent is an informed, uncoerced, enthusiastic, revocable permission for something to happen. Consent can be withdrawn, by any party, at any time during the activity. Consent can only legally be given between adults of the age of consent or greater.

Safeword 

When engaging in BDSM activities it is considered good practice to nominate and agree on a safeword for use between yourself and your partner/s. A safeword is a code word, or series of code words, used to communicate to your partner that you are reaching a limit or you wish to stop play immediately.

Often, nominated safe words are: 

• Words that would not be regularly used during play

• A series of words that communicate varying degrees (e.g. green, yellow, red may be used to communicate ‘I’m fine’, ‘I’m reaching my limit’ or ‘stop play’)

It is up to you and your partner/s to outline which words you use and discuss in detail what each word will be used to indicate.

Don’t forget to select a nonverbal option for play that involves gags or anything that limits vocalisation. If you’re the dom, pay attention to your subs positive and negative subtle gestures.

Bondage and Restraint

If you’re practicing restraint during your play sessions, common sense and communication is key.

Keep in mind:

• Certain positions can very quickly become uncomfortable and interfere with circulation (e.g. arms restrained above the head).

• It is important to use the right gear to restrain your partner. Often people like to improvise or use less threatening methods of restraint (e.g. a silk scarf or a pair of stockings). This can be dangerous as certain materials tend to pull quite tight, are difficult to un-knot and can lead to the pinching of nerves. Bondage rope is always the best option - with the correct bondage knots.

• If you’re experiencing any tingling, numbness or coldness communicate this to your partner and have them loosen the restraint or reposition you. This may indicate a pinched nerve or that your circulation is being cut off.

• Have rope cutters or bandage scissors on hand incase your partner needs to be cut loose in a hurry.

• Do not cover the mouth and nose while restrained. If gagged, make sure the nose is uncovered.

• Never leave someone who is restrained alone for any period of time, for any reason.

Impact Play

When experimenting with flogging, caning, paddling or spanking it is important to be informed as to which parts of the body are safe for hitting and which are not.

First, if flogging, invest in a quality flogger. Cheap floggers tend to be stiff and have hard edges, leading to an experience more painful than pleasurable and possible injury. A quality flogger will have soft lashes and rounded edges.

In the case of floggers, opt for shorter tails to begin with so you have more control. Remember building impact can be more effective than going too hard too soon.

When paddling or spanking avoid the kidneys, lower back, neck and the joints. Never strike anyone in the face or neck area with any object.

Safe areas include the buttocks, thighs and upper back.

Consider the position the receiver is in. Note that positions stretching out major muscles (e.g. bent over) leave the receiver more vulnerable and with a lower pain threshold.

 
Hygiene

Investing in good quality gear will ensure not only more pleasurable play, but safer play. Look for toys that are non-porous. Medical and food grade silicone, metal and glass toys are the safest choice when it comes to avoiding bacteria growth and the entrapment of bodily fluids in and on toys.

Practice thorough cleaning and sterilisation techniques, especially for items shared between multiple partners.

Any penetrable items shared between partners should have a condom applied before use.

Be mindful of articles that are absorbent (e.g. leather, rope etc.)  and be sure to practice proper sterilisation techniques. 

Maintain personal hygiene and a clean play environment.

Seek medical advice in the instance of suspected contamination.

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